#lemme give you a rundown of my life #i’ve spent 60 years in the wilds of the north being a god damn ranger #i’ve tracked down motherfuckin gollum and brought him to mirkwood #do you know what mirkwood is #do you know the kind of spiders that live there #yeah i thought not #i have battled orc armies in THREE CONSECUTIVE MOVIES #I HAVE RAN ACROSS THE FIELDS OF ROHAN #do you know how big that is #it’s like the english countryside but as big and as wide as motherfuckin canada #(i’m guessing) #i have battled the RINGWRAITHS. ya that’s right. all nine of them. WITH A TORCH. AND FOUR HOBBITS WIELDING TOOTHPICKS. #with the one ring as bait #i have been dragged down a cliff by a fuckin warg #i have summoned the armies of the dead to defeat the corsairs of umbar #i have lived a hard motherfuckin life and if you think bad dental hygiene will scare me then bitch the only scary thing about that is the amount of STDs i can catch if i stick my tongue in your mouth #go home. you’ve been dismissed.

@youarekillingmefrominside @sam-bam-16


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s