aporeticelenchus:

chirabella:

Okay, but have you considered: Marius as the world’s awkwardest vampire.

You know what though, the more I think about this the more sense it makes. Marius Pontmercy

  • Is already a “Baron”
  • Wears all black
  • Only goes out at night
  • Has one Romance and one Germanic language down; can easily find some place with empty castles
  • His father-in-law has slept in a coffin
  • Has a track record of reworking his ethical system to whatever suits his strongest interests; would definitely be able to rationalize eating people
  • Great at murder
  • Frequently seems to not know what decade it is
  • All his friends are dead
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