Greed: Unlock by buying for high price.
Wrath: Unlock by killing a bunch of enemies.
All the others: I don’t fucking know just do something random.
Lust: Unlock by being sexually harassed. Enjoy the way the dudebro gamers both scream that it’s unfair that women get the weapon so much faster than men and that this clearly proves sexism isn’t actually a problem because now it has even more perks.
Sloth: Unlock by having your character do nothing for X hours.
Pride: Unlock by making grandiose claims in chat. (Bonus points if you then fail to live up to those claims.)
Envy: Unlock by spitefully deriding players for getting items that you wanted.
Gluttony: Unlock by gathering resources in gross excess of what you could possibly ever use.